Discovery Online – Ep. 5 The Church

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2 Responses to Discovery Online – Ep. 5 The Church

  1. Linda Conn says:

    I guess this is where I feel stuck also. I have tried to serve in other churches and have failed, especially children ministries because of my nerves, vulnerable to children allowing them to have their way, and not good at disciplining. Also because of my Dad sexually abusing me from 2 to 17 years of age, and when people know about this, there is a lack of trust against me when I am around children. Like a stigma that I have my Dad’s disease which I don’t. I have two children and 3 grand-children and have never hurt them. But people in one of the churches I use to go to stop visiting me when they heard my story of abuse.

    My last church wanted me to help in the nursery or children’s ministry but emotionally I could not out of fear of losing friends I guess.

    I did help in little ways in other areas like guarding the backpacks we were giving away, helping an older lady to eat since her hands shake and also help her with communion. I miss her now that I am not there.

    I also played my guitar and sang in the Sunday worship team until they were looking for someone to do worship in Celebrate Recovery so I stepped down from Sunday to do Wed nights. It was too much for me to do both. I led worship at CR for 6 years until we closed Dec 18th, 2013.

    I was asked to play guitar only in Sunday worship this year but started having head pain because of what was said to me in Dec 2013 and emotionally could not handle the stress of the band because of the mental strain I was feeling.

    I had an MRI done Oct 27th 2014 and was told I have head inflammation and now on meds for this for 6 months.

    My question is, those who have disabilities, where do they fit in to do service in a church? Because of my work injuries they too have held me back. I have carpal tunnel in both wrists, injured my left elbow and slipped two lower discs in my back. Stress is my emotional wall to overcome because of my damaged nerves from my past abuse. You would think they would be healed by now with all the prayer I have had but this year proved to me that stress is still my downfall – enemy. Even though I would love to sing out in public to reach this world for Christ, I know stress would stop me from accomplishing this goal. That is why I quietly use internet as my tool to serve the Lord where stress is less.

    Well there you have a bit of knowledge of my serving in church and why I’m not in church now. I’m on vacation to get my nerves calmed down and my head healed. Maybe when I am emotionally feeling better things will change. Waiting on my Lord to lead, guide and direct me when that time is right. God bless!!

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